Financial problem is one of the most common reasons of divorce. The stress it creates ruins many marriages. In order to avoid them, spouses should know that financial problems have the potential to damage their relationship and what they can do overcome it once it’s there.
1. Having separate accounts. While most spouses resort to separate accounts to address certain personal issues such as gambling or separation of family assets, having separate accounts is potentially damaging. Financial intelligence is not the issue here. When couples said their marriage vows, they are uniting not only their lives but also their finances - earnings, expenses and debts. When a couple has separate accounts, it implies that one of the partners would have to pay the debts he has brought into the marriage; which usually ends up in bitterness and resentment. Furthermore, imagine how paying emergencies should be resolved, such as unexpected home repairs or medical bills.
Separate accounts may work but it has very few success stories. Couples should unite even in their finances. It may take long to do this but is worthwhile to try doing things differently.
2. Resolving financial conflicts through nagging. Because of the stress it brings, a financially challenged couple may resort to nagging or yelling. But such childish acts will never solve the problem. In fact, it may worsen the situation.
To address this issue, the spouses should treat each other as co-equal, regardless of how one has contributed to the financial burdens or the other’s income. They should find out how they could get to the same financial page together. Among the most practical things to do would include seeing a counselor, attending financial meetings together, or holding each other accountable to sticking to a budget. Then, the couple should start facing financial challenges together without nagging or pointing accusing fingers to each other.
3. Hiding unnecessary expenses by lying. Remember, one small lie leads to bigger lies. In fact, lying can become an addiction. Lying within the marriage is ugly and painful, but being truthful to each other leads to freedom - and that includes financial freedom.
The spouses should create an environment that encourages openness and trust. This gives each other the assurance that there is concern for each other and that they are committed to solve their financial dilemma. Lying may just be a symptom of a deeper emotional problem so each of the spouses should take the time to listen to a confession without necessarily passing judgment.